Posts in category "Jokes"
Herbal Medications: Progressing with Time?
02000 B.C. ("до нашей эры") — Here ("вот"), eat ("съешь") this ("этот") root ("корешок"). 1000 A.D. ("нашей эры") — That root is heathen ("языческий"). Here, say ("произнеси") this prayer ("молитву"). 1850 A.D. — That prayer is superstition ("предрассудок"). Here, drink ("выпей") this potion ("зелье"). 1940 A.D. — That potion is snake oil ("леВОкарство; хрень"). Here, swallow ("проглоти") this pill ("пилюлю"). 1985 A.D. — That pill is ineffective ("неэффективно"). Here, take ("прими") this antibiotic ("антибиотик"). 2000 A.D. — [...]
16.09.2001 / Jokes
Life after Death
0Three good friends ("хороших друга") were driving ("ехали") along on the highway ("по автомагистрали") one Saturday("однажды в субботу"): a doctor ("врач"), a teacher ("учитель"), and a lawyer ("юрист"). All of a sudden ("неожиданно"), a brand-new ("с иголочки") truck ("грузовик") cut them off ("подрезал их"). In an attempt ("пытаясь") to miss ("избежать столкновения") the big vehicle ("с большим транспортным средством"), the driver ("водитель") swerved ("резко свернул") to the left ("влево") and hit ("пересек") the median ("разделительную полосу"). The [...]
27.08.2001 / Jokes
Perfect Couple
1A woman at a party ("на вечеринке") walked up ("подошла") to a man and told him, "If you were ("если бы вы были") my husband ("мужем") I would ("я бы") poison ("добавила яду") your drink ("в то, что вы пьете")." The man replied ("ответил"), "If you were my wife ("моей женой") I would drink it ("я бы это выпил")." [...]
27.08.2001 / Jokes
Guess
0A young ("молодой") and foolish ("глупый; дурашливый") pilot wanted to sound cool ("хотел повыпендриваться") and show ("показать") who was the boss ("кто рулит") on the aviation frequencies ("на авиационной волне"). So ("во-от"), this was his first time ("он впервые") approaching ("подлетал") a field ("к аэродрому") during the nighttime ("в темное время суток"). Instead of ("вместо") making any official requests ("официальные запросы") to the tower ("КДП, контрольно-диспетчерский пункт"), he said ("сказал"): "Guess who ("догадайтесь, кто")?" The controller ("диспетчер") [...]
21.08.2001 / Jokes
Who's Smarter?
0A woman was out golfing ("играла в гольф") one day when she hit ("ударила") her ball into the woods ("в лес"). She went into the woods to look for it ("искать его") and found a frog ("лягушку") in a trap ("в капкане"). The frog said to her, "If you release ("выпустишь") me from this trap, I will grant ("дам") you three wishes ("желания")." She did and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed ("забыла") to mention [...]
01.08.2001 / Jokes
A Blonde on a Plane
0On a plane ("самолет") bound ("рейсом") for New York a flight attendant ("стюард, стюардесса") approached ("подошла к") a blonde ("блондинке") sitting in the first class section ("отделении первого класса") and requested ("попросила") that she moves ("перейдет в другое отделение") since ("так как") she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied ("ответила"), "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful ("красива"); I'm going to New York; and I'm not moving ("никуда не пойду")." Not wanting ("не желая") to argue [...]
03.07.2001 / Jokes
The Earring
0Morris is at work one day when he notices ("замечает") that his co-worker ("сотрудник"), Joe, is wearing ("носит") an earring ("серьгу"). This man knows his co-worker to be ("знает его как") a normally conservative ("обычного консервативного") fellow ("парня"), and is curious ("удивлен") about his sudden change ("неожиданной перемене") in "fashion sense." ("в плане моды") "Hey, Joe," he yells out ("восклицает"), "I didn't know you were into ("тебе нравится носить") earrings." "Don't make such a big deal ("большую [...]
23.06.2001 / Jokes
Bad Day
0There's a guy ("мужик") sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink ("выпивка"). He stays like that ("не меняет положения") for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making ("задиристый") truck driver ("водитель грузовика") steps next to him ("подходит к нему"), takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down ("опустошает стакан до дна"). The poor man ("бедняга, бедолага") starts crying ("начинает рыдать"). The truck driver says, "Come on ("да ладно тебе"), man, I [...]
16.06.2001 / Jokes
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